I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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