Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
