Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
