allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
