i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
