If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
