i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
