Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
