True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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