Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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