I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
