Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
