Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
