your thong is hanging out like whoa
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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