chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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