Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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