Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
