she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
