he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
