maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
