Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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