You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
