The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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