Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
