id be glad to
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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