I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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