let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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