stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm always down for nudity.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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