bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
