If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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