I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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