the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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