I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
ttyl tear gas
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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