You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
