Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
