Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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