Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
