I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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