He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
