Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
