apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
