I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
