i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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