you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
