Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
