After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Who died my cat blue again?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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