new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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