my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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