I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So squirting runs in the family.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
