I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
