he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
