i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
